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Help to Improve Your Child's Social Skills
Watch for “teachable moments”
When your child has successfully handled a challenging situation, point out what he or she did and why it worked.
Fast-forward
Teach your child to anticipate the consequences of behavior. Ask him or her to think “forward” to the future and imagine what the consequences of his or her behavior might be. For example, ask your child, “What would the other person probably do if you did that, and then what would happen?”
Teach empathy
Did a difficult situation arise with another student at school? See if it's possible for your child to imagine being in the other student's place and to imagine how the other child may have felt.
Note boundaries and personal space
Everybody needs room. Help your child understand the importance of not intruding on another individual's “personal space,” not interrupting when others speak, and not speaking too loudly.
Make friends by being a friend
The ability to make and keep friends is a critical social skill. Coach your child to strengthen his or her friendships by:
- putting friends first
- letting friends choose what to play
- taking turns and not being “bossy” during games
- making sure friends feel welcome and have fun when they visit
Games can help build social skills
Playing games can reinforce a child's ability to follow rules, concentrate, and cooperate with others. They also teach the value of being a “good” winner and that a game can be fun even if your child doesn't win.
Why play games?
- Games are fun. They can be a great way to spend time with a child one-on-one or as a family
- Games can help improve the ability to sit still, focus, and concentrate
- Games can help a child build self-confidence when he or she successfully learns the rules and strategy of a game
- Games allow you the opportunity to praise your child's abilities, either for playing the game skillfully or for winning or losing gracefully
Before you start:
When playing games with your child, explain rules carefully. Stick to them consistently; don't change or bend them. Review that nobody wins all the time and it is just as important to learn how to “not win” at a game.
Individual counseling or social skill groups are often helpful in teaching your child the skills needed. Parent coaching is also an option to help parents learn skills to effectively assist their child with ADHD. Some schools offer social skill building groups—check with your school counselor. There are a number of books and resources available for parents to help your child to succeed socially.
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